Posted by Wayne on June 27, 2012
In the past few weeks I’ve been coming in contact with a resurgence of what I thought had died out a bit a few years ago. Am I redeemed if I don’t currently have sexual desires for the opposite sex? Do I need to be fixed before I come to the cross? Does having sexual desires for the opposite sex make me more acceptable to God?
It seems to me that the focus is once again slipping from keeping our eyes on Jesus and not measuring our brokenness and whether or not we are achieving what the world often expects. Does Jesus expect me to be straight, or does He merely want me to follow His plan for me as He reveals it to me.
One of the biggest barriers between the gay and living according to God’s Word is the heterosexual Christians insistence that they need to be straight before the eyes of God before they are accepted by Him. This is dangerous and off putting. We are all sinners with all kinds of temptations. Jesus tells us to seek first the kingdom of God and then all these things will be added unto you. How can a Christian brother or sister know that it is God’s will for me to marry? How do you know that if God gave me opposite sex attraction by the course of a miracle, that I wouldn’t start chasing women all over the place?
Sexual attraction has no business being the compass for a relationship with Jesus. Many heterosexuals see this as the fix. The cure. If we can just get the gay to muster some kind of sexual response to the opposite sex, they’ll be just like God wanted them to be. I think there are plenty of stories in the Bible that show that simply being heterosexual did not provide for a sanctified relationship with Jesus.
Jesus is our King, our healer, our therapist. I don’t need to go through someone else to be healed and changed and then considered presentable to Him. There is nothing I can do that will make myself good enough. It is in humility and brokenness that Jesus asks for my will and to be in charge of the plan He has for me. I simply must trust that if He wants me to be in a heterosexual relationship of intimacy, He will provide me with that individual and those feelings. That I a miracle for God… not for man.
I do believe there is value in therapy. If, by the choice of the person who has suffered from homosexuality there is a desire to seek further knowledge about the contributing factors to their dysfunction, of course they should be able to pursue such an investigation. But this should not be expected or mandatory. And there are many many stories of individuals who sought reparative therapy, only to either return to the gay lifestyle or commit suicide because they simply could not make themselves meet the expectations. This cannot be God’s design for us.
Only He is the great physician. Only He can heal all wounds. No where is there a safer place than in the arms of Jesus. It is because He does not expect from me, but promises blessings to me by abiding in Him that I have a confidence, a trust and a faith that He will not let me down. Even in celibacy, I have experienced more joy and freedom than in the exploration of same-sex sex that left me with no promise except to want more.
Is it too much to live in celibacy in exchange for life eternal with Jesus? I don’t think so. Am I white knuckling it? Absolutely not. I am growing in Him. I am experiencing all that He has promised. We will all be challenged until He returns. Day after day He makes it abundantly clear that in Him is where I am safe forevermore.
I love Jesus… and He certainly loves me!
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand.” Psalm 139: 13, 14, 17,18
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